Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Grady, Goober and the Alien Invasion

The noise was coming from everywhere, or so it seemed. Grady was running around the house like a coon dog seeking a scent. He ran into the bathroom—the sound was there. He ran into the hallway—the sound was there. He ran into the kitchen—the sound was there. He ran into the living room and not only was the noise there, it was louder than anywhere else he had been.

It was a scratchy sound, then heavy stomping. He yelled at Goober, “Goober, get the shotguns! We’re being invaded!”

Perhaps invaded was an exaggeration left over from the Enquirer article he had read the night before. Seems aliens were slipping into people’s homes through the vents in the attic and were setting up command posts from which they might infiltrate the minds of the people living below. Good thing he had read the article. He knew just what to do.

Goober handed Grady his 12 gauge and he pumped a shell into the chamber. Goober chose the double-barrel and cocked back the hammer.

“Right there!” Grady shouted. They both fired and blew a rather sizable hole in the ceiling. Insulation and dust drifted down on top of them. The sound moved to their rights. BLAM. Again a chunk of the ceiling flew up into the attic and the debris dropped down into the room. Even through the ringing in their ears they could hear the footsteps trotting to dead center of the room. BLAM, BLAM-BLAM. A hole the size of Vermont opened up above them. Splinters, insulation and Christmas decorations stored there started showering them from above.

Everything went quiet. “Think we got ‘em?” Goober asked.

“Don’t know,” Grady answered. “Them aliens are pretty tricky. The article said they can change their shapes to become something else.”

Two furry faces looked down from the edge of the hole. The boys took aim but before they could fire the two aliens were lunging at them out of the attic. Grady threw down his shotgun and ran through the screen door. Goober cocked and clicked his gun. Empty.

The two aliens landed on his face. He screamed and ran out of the house, furry creatures clinging to his head.

Pastor Jerguson was just pulling up in the driveway when Grady ran by. “Run, Pastor J! Aliens are after us!”

He got out of the car as Goober came scrambling toward him. “Help, Pastor J! They’re sucking my brains out!” The pastor stopped Goober and knocked the squirrels off his head. They lay dead on the ground.

The three stood looking at them. “Think they’ll change back into their alien bodies now that they’re dead?” Goober asked.

“That’s what the article said,” Grady answered.

Pastor Jerguson just shook his head, got back in his car and left.

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