Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Now That Stinks

Jack never was much good as a hunting dog. He enjoyed romping through the woods but had a hard time staying still and quiet upon request. He was more interested in chasing and digging than catching. So no one would have expected him to go out on his own and bring back prey by himself.

He had been gone most of the evening when Goober heard him scratching at the front door. Without taking his eyes off the football game, Goober reached over, opened the door, pushed it back to let Jack in.

Jack trotted proudly through the house, then came over and stood in front of the TV. The black and white animal he held in his mouth looked at Grady and Goober, raised his tail and began spraying the living room. Grady dove for the skunk only to get sprayed in the face. He grabbed his eyes, rolled around on the floor screaming, then headed to the sink to wash the putrid odor off. Goober pushed so far back in his lazyboy that his feet flipped over his head. He threw the door open and yelled at Jack, “Jack! Get that skunk out of here!”

Jack grinned and shook the skunk which reloaded and let loose at random. The whole house began to stink. Goober pushed the door open again and ordered the dog outside. Jack dropped the skunk and sulked out the door.

“No, Jack, get back in here and get that skunk!”

Jack came back triumphantly and began barking at the skunk. The skunk took off down the hallway and into the bedroom, Jack slip-sliding along after him on the hardwoods.

“Jack! Get him and get him out of here!” Goober yelled. Grady’s head was submerged in the sink.

Jack was too large to fit underneath the bed so he just stuck under his snout and barked. Being so dark, he couldn’t see the skunk’s tail lifting. He caught the spray directly up the nose. He whimpered, shook his head and scratched his way back from under the bed. He flew past Goober howling and created a new opening in the screen door. Grady grabbed a towel, wrapped it around his whole head and stumbled out the door behind Jack. Goober followed Grady.

The skunk, with the whole house to himself, finished up Jack’s dog food and water. He stretched out on the couch then curled up to get some sleep. As he did he laid his nose against one of Goober’s socks stuck down between the cushions. He shook his head, blew out his nose, then scrambled out the hole Jack had made in the screen door and back into the woods.

As it seems, there was just too much odor in the house for man or beast.

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