Sunday, January 2, 2011

Goober, Grady and Almond Milk

Ms. Waddell slammed the refrigerator door in exasperation. “What happened to the almond milk?” she fired. Everyone went deaf and silent. Waddell’s coffee was crucial to her having a good day and the almond milk was her new-found luxury of both taste and health. Once she found out she was lactose intolerant switching to almond milk made life more pleasant not only for her digestive system but also for everyone at the daycare.
Goober was there at the church dropping off Sally, his little niece, and happened by the opened door to the kitchen when he heard Waddell screaming at everyone. “Ms. Waddell, you want me to run down to the Piggly Wiggly and get you some milk?”
“Not just milk, but almond milk. Goober, do you even know what almond milk is?” she asked.
“Well, I reckon it’s milk you get from almonds,” he answered.
“Yes, now hurry up and get back here with it,” she ordered.
Grady was waiting in the truck when Goober came out. “I think Ms. Waddell is playing a trick on me,” he said.
“How’s that?”
“She said she wanted me to go to Piggly Wiggly and get her some almond milk.”
“Ain’t no such thing as almond milk.”
“Sure there is,” Grady said.
“Yeah, right, I ain’t that stupid, Grady.  You can’t milk an almond.”
“Man, you are that stupid, of course you can milk an almond.”

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