Thursday, January 12, 2012

Grady, Goober and Righteous Indignation

Pastor Jerguson had waxed eloquently for nearly twenty minutes on why it was okay for Jesus to get angry but not us. “It wasn’t that Jesus was mad,” he said, “it was just righteousness indignation.”

Righteous and indignation were two words Goober had never heard together in the same sentence. In fact, though he knew what the first meant, he had no clue about the second. His first thought was that Pastor Jerguson had meant to say was indigestion. But, then again, what would righteous indigestion be? Maybe indigestion you got after a church pot-luck?

“What’s righteous indigestion?” he whispered to Grady.

“Not indigestion,” Grady whispered back, “instigation, means He got so mad He did something about it.”

“Nah, I heard him say indigestion,” Goober replied a bit too loudly. Wanda Albright and little Jimmy turned around from the seat in front of them and shushed them rather loudly.

Pastor Jerguson looked over at Grady and Goober and made his eyebrows touch together. Grady poked Goober in the ribs and they both sat up straight, looking toward the front with a sudden inquisitive piousness on their faces. Pastor Jerguson continued.

“Righteous indignation is the only anger God allows,” he said. “It’s getting mad at the things God gets mad at.”

“See, I told you it was indigestion,” Goober whispered.

“He said indignation, you imbecile. God doesn’t get indigestion.”

“Don’t call me an imbecile, you moron.”

Moron? I’m the moron? You’re an idiot moron.” As the tone and volume began to kick up a notch, Goober’s neck started turning red and Grady had started spitting his words, which were now splattering on Wanda Albrights bouffant. She turned around and shushed them again, adding an argh to emphasis her displeasure with the two of them.

Pastor Jerguson stopped and looked down at Goober and Grady. “Would you two like to take this outside? Now!” he shouted.

Grady and Goober got up and headed for the back door. “I think Pastor J’s pretty mad at us this time,” Grady said.

“Nah, I think Pastor J just got his righteousness indignated,” Goober replied.

Needless to say, Pastor Jerguson lost total control of his congregation as they burst into righteous laughter with him at the pulpit fuming and Grady and Goober walking down the aisle calling each other names.

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