The Dog Yeller

Grady came out of the house and into the front yard. Goober was yelling at Jack, their old, lab. “Get the stick, Jack!” he shouted. Jack just sat there. “Jack! Get the stick!” Nothing.

“Goober, why are you yelling at Jack?” Grady asked.

“You ever heard of the dog whisperer?” Goober said. “He’s the guy that gets dogs to do whatever he wants.”

“Yeah, but you’re yelling, not whispering.”

“Well, I tried whispering, but Jack just sat there. Figured I’d try yelling.”

“Looks like you’re getting the same results. He’s still just sitting there. Maybe he’s confused by all the yelling. Here, let me throw the stick and you go after it so he’ll understand what to do.”

Grady grabbed a stick and threw it to the edge of the yard. Goober got on all fours and trounced after it, picked it up with his teeth and trotted back to Grady. Grady took the stick and threw it again. Goober headed out to fetch it.

About that time, Pastor Jerguson drove by and stopped. He looked at Goober and shook his head. He got out and went over to where Grady was standing. “Grady, what the heck is going on, now?”

“Well, Pastor J, Goober couldn’t get Jack to fetch this stick, so we’re showing him how to do it.”

“How’s it going so far?”

“Goober’s doing pretty good but Jack just sits there and watches. He’s either the dumbest dog ever invented or we are.”

Pastor J just shook his head, got back in his car and left. The answer was too obvious to state.