Monday, July 11, 2011

When You Can't Squat

Life becomes difficult when you can’t squat. Blasted knees. When I can get down, it becomes almost impossible to get back up without grabbing onto something. It didn’t use to be this way. I was once so agile I could squat with my spurs on and never poke myself. But now, I don’t know if I can make it down or if I do if I can get back up.

If it were not for the tasks that require squatting, I could simply approach life differently. Bending over is always an option. But sometimes bending over doesn’t give you the perspective that squatting does. And when you’re used to successfully looking at a situation from a squat, a bend just messes you up. Like finding slacks on the lower rod in the closet. I can’t tell the color from just the portion of the material that is hanging across the hanger. Sometimes I need to pull it out and see if it’s blue or black. That necessitates squatting.

So, short of having my knees replaced, which I don’t really know how that would affect how low I could go, I must either: press on through the pain, bend, or seek another alternative. I’m still deliberating. Sometimes it’s just not comfortable being in my skin.

But what I’m discovering is: life is going to change us. Acceptance of that inevitable bit of insight is not as easy as we might think it should be. My brain and my body are not aging at the same time. As a guy, my brain is much younger. And when it says I can do it, I’m all gung-ho. But then my body expresses itself. It has final say, you know. My body is much more negative than my brain.

Though it’s still a battle, I think my brain is learning that the body needs to be consulted before we attempt some things we used to do without even thinking. It’s not giving in to limitations as much as it is in being responsible for the equipment.

Spiritually, I’ve got a flesh and a spirit at work within me, each giving input as to how my life should go. Since the equipment has been committed to the Lord, I’m faced, not with limitations for living, but responsibilities. I am a temple not barn. I live in the kingdom not the projects. I am the caretaker not the tenant. So how I live within the Temple of the Holy Spirit requires me to adjust myself to what makes Him most comfortably at home.

Of course, I still have difficulty squatting, but much more contentment in the rest of my life.

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